“When you can’t change the direction of the wind – adjust your sails.” H Jackson Brown Jnr.
It’s unlikely that you have missed that Marriage Equality has been high profile in Australia during the past week. I continue to watch two sides of the debate so diametrically opposed that I question if either is actually hearing each other and willing to listen. While this has been brewing sometime for me personally; It is time for me to adjust my sails. I preach to the converted, I genuinely want to hear the ‘other side’.
I now want to talk to the people who feel sexuality that varies from heterosexuality is disrupting their personal lives, the lives of people they love and/or will cause harm in the future for society in general.
I want to talk to the people who are opposed to marriage equality furthermore opposed to same-sex relationships and children raised by parents of the same gender. I would like to speak with people who are willing to respectfully discuss our various points of view.
My biggest wish though is to talk to families and people who are finding it hard to remain connected with their loved ones when someone comes out as either lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, gender fluid or any other variant along the sexuality spectrum. There is no doubt that it is often a difficult time for some or all of the people touched. It is a time when the future, as previously imagined consciously or subconsciously, is questioned and potentially changed for everyone involved. Relationships and lives are destroyed and in some terribly sad cases ended due to a lack of hope. There is hope.
The greater majority of us want to have happy, healthy, connected families and I know it is possible. It takes a commitment to a common goal. It’s a simple goal we can all commit to – understanding and respect.
What is the most common goal for families and our society? Staying together.
Whether your child has come out in their youth or as an adult; whether you are coming out when you have been in a heterosexual relationship with or without children, whether you are transitioning from one gender to another or are gender fluid or whether you are attracted to people of different genders expressing your identity can be difficult for you and those close to you.
Being able to have open, respectful and sometimes confronting discussions, where love is the ultimate goal, can make the journey easier for everyone and result in intact relationships.
This is my goal.